Your promises, they look like lies

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(Source: crashingwavesroaringthunder)

(Source: nunca-jamas-muy-muy-lejano)

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

epic-vines:

I want a baby got now

Vine by: Sarah Herrin

swamp-beast:

yeah kinda

shelbysbutt:

aanubis:

ungrammaticholiday:

yggdrasilly:

christmasblogger:

Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]

oh my god

NOOOOOOO

they all gasped like OHHH

IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE

pastar0ni:

IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE

pastar0ni:

IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE

(Source: dickbuttofficial)

(Source: drake-ramoray)

(Source: mariecxox)

mcu meme  »  seven quotes [2/7]
↳ “historically, not awesome”

(Source: agentmays)

  • person: have you ever ran a marathon
  • me: yeah
  • person: which one
  • me: a movie one

live-as-a-teen:

dogepom:

patickstump:

if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

"Who’s flat now?"

whos flat now

(Source: patickstump)

waytoostrongforwaytoolong:

deanfrost:

at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it

when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?

(Source: buckyfrost)